Greetings from the road, GonzoBankers. It’s August. It’s hot, and bank strategic planning season has kicked into full gear. This year, bankers seem to be talking a lot about the massively large and tragically hip Generation Y. Discussions are gearing up about how banks will go after this future-market-segment goldmine. Once again, the team at GonzoBanker is here to help. We recently paid a return visit to the folks at Van de Lay Bank and Trust to attend this high-performer’s planning retreat. We let our reality cams roll and now provide you with the actual best-practice transcripts from this groundbreaking meeting.
8:11 a.m.
We now join the Van de Lay Bank and Trust planning session at the Squatting Moose Corporate Lodge in Jackson Hole, Wyoming.
Bob the CEO:
Okay guys, a few housekeeping items before we get started. Cocktails are at 7:00 tonight on the Little Big Horn patio with dinner at 8:00 sharp in Crazy Horse salons A and B. Make sure you let me know if you want beef or salmon, and please, no one eat Jenny’s vegetarian meal like last night.
Jenny from Retail:
Thanks Bob. I appreciate your sensitivity.
Lou in Commercial Lending:
Joe the CFO:
Bob the CEO:
Okay. Enough housekeeping. Let’s get to the meat of why we are here. I was recently at a conference where this demographics guy was talking about “Generation Y.” Says it’s the next big thing in marketing and we can’t get caught flat-footed. So, I want us to focus this year on how we leverage our existing core competencies and strategic infrastructure to capture an increasing share of this emerging business opportunity.
Joe the CFO:
What?
Bob the CEO:
Ugghh…There are numbers to back up what I’m saying Joe. Brad, why don’t you share some of the data I brought back in that notebook from the conference.
Brad from Marketing:
Actually, the data Bob’s referring to is very similar to an internal report I shared with you back in 2003 during the retreat at Sagging Gardens. Generation Y, defined as those born between 1978 and 2000, are 76 million strong and just as large as the Baby Boomer generation. The oldest members of Gen Y are in their late 20s now, just beginning to marry, buy houses and have kids. As I’ve mentioned in several prior planning meetings, a full 40% of our retail customers today are over 55, and they account for 64% of our total deposit balances…
Jenny from Retail:
…and when they start dying, we better have our sales culture in full gear to keep that money inside our doors or we can kiss my deposit growth goals goodbye.
Joe the CFO:
You know, with pricing in the deposit market so crazy right now, I may get more active on the wholesale borrowing side, especially with the inverting yield curve.
Bob the CEO:
Later Joe… The point is, we’ve got to replace the old customers that we lose – God bless ’em – with new, younger ones. So, let me hear some out-of-the-box thinking – how do we stay relevant for this whole Gen Y crowd?
June from Human Resources:
My granddaughter is doing something with a cell phone to pay her friends money she owes them. It’s some service called PayPal. Maybe we could do that too.
Tim from IT:
Beep beep beep…back up the truck, June! That’s wireless transmission of customer data. We’re talking short message service, encryption, packet latency… a whole slew of issues that I’m not comfortable with. Plus, this will be just like the account aggregation service that Jenny was pushing for in ’99. We spent a lot of money and only had 11 customers using DoodleDee – six of them were employees in Jenny’s department.
Jenny from Retail:
Julie from Audit:
I’m concerned that we complete the pending risk assessment for the FFIEC multi-factor authentication before we start thinking about rocket science. The clock’s ticking toward January 1 and our risk assessment is only half a page long at this point.
Bob the CEO:
Time out, guys…. Tactical Alert! Tactical Alert! Let’s take a breath and get back to our discussion of innovative, strategic ideas. How do we attack the Gen Y market?
Lou from Commercial:
My niece uses something called MyFace – it’s disgusting! A bunch of girls dressed in trashy outfits and a bunch of perverts stalking them.
Brian from Mortgage:
You’re talking about social networking sites, Lou, but it’s not called MyFace. There’s one site called MySpace and another called Facebook.
Brad from Marketing:
Actually, it’s not a bad point, Lou. I was thinking we could start a MySpace page for Bob. The Gen Y crowd could go to our CEO’s page and ask him questions about their financial situation. We could offer tips for college savings on Bob’s blog and maybe give away an iPod or Xbox or something.
Lou from Commercial:
Well, I don’t use the Internet myself, but those MyFace kids aren’t out there to talk finances – they just want to hook up to each other.
Bob the CEO:
What do you mean by “blog,” Brad?
Tim from IT:
I can address that one, Brad. Blogs are basically online journals that anyone can post on the Internet. I subscribe to one by this guy named the Blade Server Emperor who writes about security vulnerabilities in ongoing Microsoft patches. I can share it with you if you’d like, Bob.
Bob the CEO:
No! That’s okay, Tim. So, who would write my blog? And how would we keep the perverts from trying to stalk me on MyPlace?
Jenny from Retail:
MyPlace might not be the best venue. I’m thinking we’ve got to get more active on college campuses. I was at Faber College last month and all the big banks had tables there – giving away pizza, Frisbees and signing up a ton of kids for credit cards. If we get them there, we’ve got them for life.
Brian from Mortgage:
It’s called MySpace, not MyPlace.
Lou from Commercial:
Hey, is it illegal to serve beer at those campus tables? That seems like it would hit home with this crowd. I say give the masses what they really want.
Bob the CEO [Grabbing cell phone]:
Wait a minute! I’ve got a great idea. Our college intern, Jared, is downstairs getting my golf clubs polished. I bet he could steer us in the right direction…. Jared, Bob here. Hey we need you right away up in the Teton conference room… yeah bye. Great news, guys, Jared’s on his way up and he’s 22 years old!
Joe the CFO:
Am I hallucinating, or is the overpaid management team of a multi-million dollar bank about to pin their future strategy on an intern named Jared.
Jenny from Retail:
Don’t be closed-minded, Joe. Jared’s terrific. He spent four hours teaching me how to use my new Treo phone.
Brian from Mortgage:
Can I get a Treo phone too, Tim?
Tim from IT:
Nope.
Jared the Intern [Enters the room]:
Your clubs are ready, Bob, and I….
Bob the CEO:
Jared my man! Glad you’re here. The team and I are talking about how we attract more folks your age to the bank. We’re thinking about PayPal, MyFace, blogs… all that stuff. So are we on the right track?
Jared the Intern:
Do you want me to set up a MySpace account for you, Bob, or…
Brad from Marketing:
Actually, Jared, Bob’s asking how the bank should market more effectively to Generation Y customers like you. We need to be more “cool” in how we present our services. Like hip hop music, for instance. Do you think a commercial with a rap song about our banking services might hit home with your crowd?
Jared the Intern:
Well, probably not, Brad, I mean…
June from Human Resources:
Oh I hate that rap stuff! Please don’t’ put that in a bank commercial. My granddaughter listens to some criminal named 50 Cent and I can’t believe what the world has come to.
Jared the Intern:
Excuse me, Bob, Brad, June… everyone. Since I’ve been hired for this position, I’ve been studying the bank a lot. I think guys my age want the same thing everyone wants. I hate being charged expensive fees and I want access to free ATMs. If I apply for a loan, I want an answer quick. When I tried to get a credit card at this bank, it took two weeks. I got approved online at CapitalOne right away.
I do a lot of my banking online and wish our Web site wasn’t so hard to navigate and that I didn’t have to log in separately to bill pay and that brokerage account Bob made me open.
Bob the CEO:
Good point. What if we started an Internet bank just for the Gen Y crew. It could play rock and rap music while you check your balances and we could come up with some hip name.
Brad from Marketing:
Actually… what if we called it Y Bank? That’s kind of catchy.
Jared the Intern:Bob the CEO:
Joe the CFO:
Oh God! Should I call the investment bankers now and tell them to sell the bank or should we wait until after golf?
Jenny from Retail:
Hey Jared, while you’re here, something’s wrong with my Treo. It keeps blinking.
Bob the CEO:
Okay, I think we’ve made good progress with our Gen Y strategy. Let me touch quickly on another important topic – the Hispanic market. Here’s my idea: sombrero days. We have all the tellers wear sombreros and maybe even put chips and salsa out in the branches… June, we may want to ask Lucinda down in payroll if she thinks that’s a good idea… Let’s take a 15-minute break and then we’ll hear Joe’s boring financial presentation about margin compression.
MEETING ADJOURNED at 9:47 a.m.
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