Dear Beloved Readers – I wrote a song for you. It is called “50 Ways to Leave Your Vendor.” I hope you really like it. Wanna hear it? Here it go ……
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“Kick back, relax, release your worries to the sea,”
said the wise consultant helping with my strategy
You know I’ll help you find kick-ass technology
There must be fifty ways to leave your vendor
To fix shortcomings in your functionality,
we both know, don’t trust a rewrite or a pledge to patch for free
Their development ain’t known for punctuality
There must be fifty ways to leave your vendor
Fifty ways to leave your vendor
You just chart a new route, Newt
Gotta set sail, Dale
Stop cutting them checks, Tex
Now, take it from me …
Must terminate, Cate
No need to negotiate!
Send the RFP, Lee
And set your bank free …
Control-Alt-Delete, Pete
Call a new rep, Sepp
Gotta lower the bill, Jill –
Your Board’ll agree! …
Write a Dear John, Juan
Guarantee to convert, Bert!
Determine to flee, Bea
And set your bank free …
He said, You must convert to calm your worried brain
You’re flipping and you’re flopping like the beliefs of John McCain
There’s only one sure way to fix your trouble and disdain
Or maybe fifty ways….
I said their Service Staff has constant overturn
A “Yes,” a “No,” some expertise are all things for which we yearn
And then he laughed at me, and in my mind his snot-nose words did burn
There must be fifty ways to leave our vendor
Fifty ways to leave our vendor
Mail in the notice, Otis
Shred the contract, Shaq
Take ‘em to the shed, Sayed
And then you call me …
Do something rad, Chad
Squeeze until they cry, McFly!
Have a shooting spree, Bree
And set your bank free …
Enough is enough, Duff
Don’t you renew, Stu!
Gotta lower the axe, Max
And, routed, they’ll flee …
Pack up the truck, Huck
Eat Peruvian bark, Mark!
Change the master key, Dee
And set your bank free …
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How was that for shameless? Thought I’d keep it light this week, GonzoBankers, to ease your muddled minds back after some Memorial Day gorging. But fret not, the system selection practice at Cornerstone continues to gallop unbridled and unrivaled through the open prairies of our industry. Happiness is seeing your competitors have to pay for advertising!
I’m sure Paul Simon would have approved of my lyrics changes had I actually submitted the papers. And you’re damn right, I wrote “Eat Peruvian bark, Mark.” You try finding a rhyming, seven syllable sentence all the way into the fourth chorus …
Take it easy – smh
