Even more dated than Retail blaming IT for the lack of bank sales growth is the unending battle between loan officers and loan operations staff. That’s right, GonzoBankers, even as I speak we’re knee-deep in many an argument between these two venerable groups. You know how it goes… The loan officers are appalled by the turtle-paced, uncaring service provided by the loan operations staff, and the loan ops folks can’t believe the lenders’ level of incompetence and inattention to detail. It’s a feud that makes the Texas – texas a&m rivalry look like a sissified tickle fight, but there’s much more at stake than wetting your pants in the Lending War.
Our loan-reengineering clients always ask us how other banks have solved this problem. Very few have. They’ve done work-arounds and agreed in theory to play more nicely together, but the problem is still extremely prevalent.
Being a bit of a Banking History geek, I consulted the oldest tome I could find on the subject. Turns out, you shouldn’t feel bad if you’re having to referee the lender-loan ops battle at your bank; this problem has been ongoing since the early 1600s. What follows is an actual transcript of an invective between loan officers and loan operations staff at FNB Tokyo that took place in 1629. (Thanks to my peeps at Rising Sun Publishing for the permission to reprint!) Being The Way in ancient Japan, this discourse is written completely in Haiku. Those guys were nuts about their 5-7-5 cadence! It takes some getting used to, but the style is infectious.
In the words of the immortal Eddie Murphy, “Wanna hear it? Here it go…..”
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Lenders:
Note to Loan Ops Toads:
Loan doc disappearances –
Into the ether?
Loan Ops:
Japanese proverb:
That which has never been found
Cannot be misplaced.
Lenders:
We pray, wish and yearn
For a timely loan docking.
Patience quickly wanes.
Loan Ops:
Slow turnaround time?
Foolish terms and conditions!
Sanity’s grasp lost.
Lenders misperceive.
Loans are merely sold money.
Not priceless artwork.
Lenders:
Trees of woe take root
In the soil of poor service.
Ops Complacency.
We’re your customer.
So by Tsao’s definition,
We are always right.
Loan Ops:
Treat us like housemaids.
Expecting subservience.
Karma will catch up.
Strangle you lifeless
With reports of exceptions
Until you submit.
Lenders:
Heed the Rainmakers
Whose sweat buys your Sapporo,
Bureaucratic rubes!
Exceptions persist
Like storms to the fisherman.
Accept and proceed.
Loan Ops:
See us as saviors.
Keeping audit reports clean.
It’s not for our health.
Lenders:
Simple renewals
Take six forms and three checklists.
Slaves to The Process.
All reason is lost.
Customers wait in limbo.
For a CAMEL 1?
CEO of FNB Tokyo (in thunderous voice):
A new era’s dawned!
For once our problems are not
The IT guy’s fault!
You half-bright buffoons!
Redirect your venom’s path
At Bank of Japan!
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At this point, the conversation apparently went underground. The remainder of this back-and-forth is only available in deeply coded and profanity-riddled tapestries, closely guarded by Japanese archivists and clearly inappropriate for our esteemed readership. So, the mystery remains.
What has your bank done to help smother the flames of this persistent fire? Help me out, I’m trolling for Best Practices over here.
Free-stylers unite!
-smh